I think we all have. I've got two. One is Reunion. The other is Scouts. They are my Jackson Cane stories, and I think they're great. But no one is reading them. No one. Almost literally. And, honestly, I don't get it.
A couple of weeks ago I tried to change the blurbs. They were admittedly poor. They needed to be beefed up, so that's what I did. I updated and hoped that I'd see sales start to increase. But nothing. I don't think I've sold one book since the blurbs were updated. I think the covers are good. They are simple, but I like them.
So, I'm stumped, and I need your help. What's wrong with these stories? Why aren't people buying them? I'm going to post the new blurbs and covers here, and I want you to tell me what's wrong. And don't pull any punches. Let me know what's wrong. Why aren't people buying. I want to get these stories into people's hands.
REUNION
They’re cops, sort of. Cane and his coworkers chase certain undesirables back to where they belong. Back through the portal in a dark alleyway. Back to their own dimension. Back home. Cane's the best of the bunch, but his next cases are going to bring him face to face with someone he's not sure he wants to see again, with creatures he’s never seen before, and something he’d only heard stories about.
In this first adventure, Jackson Cane is called to a gruesome crime scene that looks like the handiwork of someone he knows all too well. He hopes he’s wrong, because, if he’s not, he’s headed for a reunion he never wanted to happen.
This nearly 8,000 word short story is the first in a series.
SCOUTS
They’re cops, sort of. Cane and his coworkers chase certain undesirables back to where they belong. Back through the portal in a dark alleyway. Back to their own dimension. Back home. Cane's the best of the bunch, but his next cases are going to bring him face to face with someone he's not sure he wants to see again, with creatures he’s never seen before, and something he’s only heard stories about.
In his second adventure, Jackson Cane spots a trio of suspicious 20-somethings eating noodles at Charlie Chan’s Kung Food. His instincts tell him something's wrong. When he sees the same trio later, Cane finds out his instincts couldn't have been more right -- and that's bad news for him and the rest of the Freak Police. Because these young ones are only the first wave of something bigger, and the Freak Police may not be ready for that kind of fight.
This 13,000-word story is the second in the series of Jackson Cane adventures.
At quick glance, while the covers are unique, they don't convey what the story is about and may not grab that genre reader the right way. And in a list of thumbnails scrolling down an LCD monitor, that's the first (and maybe only) chance you have to attract attention. It may be even more important than the blurb, because unless the buyer walks in the front door, they can't see what you're selling, so the front window better be attractive AND relevant.
ReplyDeleteTo me, a blue silhouette of a woman in a skirt says romance or even erotica, not "gruesome crime scene" and chasing undesirable creatures. And if the stories are truly crime scene oriented, an easy step one may be just to make the silhouettes blood red in color instead of bright blue.
You may be getting click throughs from romance/erotica readers who hit the back button because it's so far outside that genre, and you may be missing click throughs of crime/thriller readers because of the style of cover.
Just a thought...
-Steve
And jeez - any way to turn off the Captcha here? Took me five tries to read those squiggly letters... :)
DeleteThanks, Steve. I'll take another stab at the covers. I like them, but that's just my opinion and not one that really matters. My aesthetic is minimalist. That obviously doesn't work for everyone. I was trying to do something that was themed through out the five book story arc. I'll take another stab at something.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback. And I'll look at the Captcha. I thought I had this set to the minimum amount of verification needed for comments.
One of THE hardest things to do is create/design something that you don't necessarily like, but others will. And I don't mean the story - every writer should love what they are creating - but when it comes to the cover, a whole heck of a lot of marketing and business need to come into play, which can in many cases override the creative aspect. Otherwise no one will ever get to the important part.
DeleteYep, agree about the covers. They're just very.... 70's. In the "trippy drug culture" way. Just not really eye catching.
ReplyDeleteThe blurbs, the first line isn't eye grabbing. The "They’re cops, sort of." line, however, is. Kinda invokes the "CSI" image in a way. I am not sure if that's sort of the way the book is, but maybe you can play on that angle a bit more. The rest of the blurbs are okay. =)
Hope that helped!
Thanks, Lambow. Very helpful. I'll take another editing pass on the blurbs.
Deletei wouldn't list the word-count or describe them as 'short stories'
ReplyDeleteis dated, technical nomenclature
use marketing terminology
something trendy like 'flash-fiction' (i think its too long for that)
call them instalments or chapters in a serialised story or something
pare down the cliched phrases
'the rest of'
'sort of'
'best of the bunch'
snobs will say none of these familiar phrases is a good number but certainly less than you've used
also, there are a lot of sentence fragments
every sentence doesn't have to be 100% gramatically-correct but some of them do.
'his next cases are going to bring him face to face '
too many words
he will be facing / he comes up against / he'll be brought to
something like that / simple and direct (it's a long enough sentence with the tongue gymnastics)
Thanks, Robert. That's great feedback. I'll definitely take another look at the blurbs.
Delete