Left for a very short business trip yesterday morning. Fly back to Dallas today. If you follow me on Twitter you knew that. (You do follow me on Twitter, right? @JarrettRush.) I was tweeting the things I was seeing while I waited at the gate before we left Dallas, but, being a good traveler, I turned off my phone once I got on the plane. That meant no tweets. It didn't, however, mean no observations. Boy, did I have observations. And lucky for you, I had a notebook. That meant I could write these down. What follows is an almost stream-of-consciousness set of things I would have tweeted had the opportunity been there. This is the first half of my flight out of town. I'll post the second half later this week. Come fly with me.
Definition of a jerk: The guy in the exit row who still feels the need to lean his seat back.
Kudos to you, man, for holding firm when the young girl batted her eyes and tried to swap her middle seat for your aisle. Stay strong.
It's a drink cart. Don't get mad at the flight attendant if they don't have your favorite obscure regional soda as an option.
Apple juice is something I only drink away from home. Either at a hotel or on a plane. I don't think I've bought any for home in years.
This engaged couple next to me seems very nice. And she seems VERY excited about planning her wedding.
If you have to stand up to allow someone to get back in their seat there are other directions you can face so that your crotch isn't at my eye level, dude.
I've decided I like the young business man across the aisle from me. We haven't said a word to each other, but I think outside of here we could be friends. He's been incredibly patient with the spiky-haired kid next to him.
America, we have a weight problem. Entirely too many of you are hitting me with your bellies as you pass me to get to the restroom.
Speaking of restrooms. Do bladders shrink in flight? Is that something scientific? It's the only explanation for the number of people getting up to pee.
OK, I kind of have to pee.
The flight attendants take no guff. Now do you understand that they have no snacks? "You can keep asking me each time I pass, but that doesn't change the situation." Boom.
The lengths I will go to to contort my body so you can't lean you seat back surprises even me. I had no idea I was this flexible.
As long as we have an airline industry we'll have USA Today. The other regional newspapers may die, but there will always be a captive audience for McPaper.
OK, I think young businessman is using he on-board wifi to check his profile on the company website.
I once read something that said we take twice as long to leave a parking space as we take to pull in. Something about ownership and how we feel it once we are in the spot and that makes us hesitant to give it up. That rule is double for airplane restrooms.
And, yes, I just had to use the restroom. So ashamed.